12 months on: Bernard’s reflection
Last year for Mental Health Month, Bernard Whebell opened up and shared his personal journey with mental health. His openness encouraged many of us to talk more freely about our own experiences.
A year on, Bernie has taken a moment to reflect on what this journey has looked like since sharing his story:
“It has been an interesting 12 months. I am still amazed at how my mental health is so entwined with my work. All it takes is for a suggestion about a possible error or issue, and my mind can start to run, and if I don’t actively chase it, it will get away from me.
My journey over the past twelve months has been a continual learning experience. Seeing triggers, such as poor sleep, excessive caffeine, or lack of digital disconnection, and trying to understand how they impact my day-to-day mental health. Over the last 12 months, I have reflected on how my mental health journey impacts those around me, and the importance of recognising and understanding that impact.
I have also found it interesting talking to staff around the office and how everyone is on a personal journey. I think it is so important for people to be able to talk about their mental health and understand that for some people, it is a continual battle that never ends but does not have to be fought alone.”
We’re grateful to Bernard for continuing to share his experiences with honesty and openness. Below, you can revisit the original article he shared last year for Mental Health Month.
Let’s talk about it: 2024’s theme for Mental Health Month.
While the enduring purpose of Mental Health Month is to get all of us thinking about mental health and wellbeing, this year’s theme homes in on the importance of talking about it too.
‘Let’s talk about it’ is a rallying call to do exactly that—talk about our lived experiences and share our personal stories with one another.
Now, there’s plenty of compelling reasons to talk about these things. We could cite the statistics on the number of Aussies who experience mental illness in a year (1 in 5), or the proportion of us who will be affected by mental illness at some point in our lives (45%), but perhaps the most convincing of all is the simple truth that by speaking up about our own experiences, we open the door for others to do the same.
And this is why Ulton’s Audit and Forensics Partner, Bernard Whebell, is talking about it.
“I want our staff to know that it’s okay not to be okay—and that coming out and talking is always better than hiding away,” said Bernie.
Bernie adds that his hope is that by being vulnerable about his own experiences, others will feel encouraged to do the same.
“You’ve got to put yourself out there so that others can stand on the ledge with you,” he said.
Looking back on his journey so far, Bernie recalls 2004 as a particularly tough time. For the first time in his life, he was grieving the loss of a close family member—his father.
“It really hit home for me,” said Bernie.
“I didn’t realise it at the time, but in hindsight I can see that I was going through a bit of depression,” he said.
Despite not picking up on all the earlier signs, after his high stress culminated in a physical reaction in the middle of a work day, Bernie knew it was time to seek the support of a psychologist.
“I got the support I needed at the time and it helped,” he said.
However, what Bernie didn’t anticipate was that two months later, he would be discussing the implications of seeking support during an insurance review.
“Going to see a psychologist meant that I had mental health waivers put on my insurance—they wouldn’t insure me for certain things and I had to pay a 50% premium,” said Bernie.
Bernie reiterates that his 2004 experience may not reflect how such situations are handled today, but the larger point is that experience sent Bernie the message that mental health isn’t something that is respected, and seeking support isn’t something to be encouraged.
“It really brought home the stigma attached to talking about mental health conditions,” said Bernie.
Despite these early experiences, Bernie has always felt that mental health isn’t something to be shrouded in silence. Today, he is not ashamed to share that he lives with high-functioning anxiety.
Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia, with 1 in 4 people expected to experience it at some stage in their life.
Bernie shares that living with anxiety means he can be prone to catastrophizing.
“I can take a scenario, look at everything that can go wrong, and then take it to the nth degree—even though the probability of that worst-case scenario happening is 1 in 10 million,” he said.
Talking about how he’s worked to manage these tendencies, Bernie likens it to the gym.
“People spend so much time caring for their physical health—diet, workouts, going to the gym every day. But there’s so many components of human beings: physical health is one, mental health is another. And you’ve got to exercise your mental health,” he said.
For Bernie, mental health “exercise” takes many forms. It can be prioritising quality sleep and healthy eating, seeing a psychologist on a regular basis for a tune-up, speaking to people he trusts, and taking quiet time to decompress when he feels it’s needed.
He adds that simply taking time to sit with his experience has also been key in managing it.
“Instead of trying to ‘fix’ it, it’s been important for me to take the time to actually sit with it and learn my patterns,” he said.
“I know that if I have too much coffee, bad food, and alcohol, and not enough sleep, my anxiety will kick in.”
“Time itself has played a role in becoming more comfortable too. As time passes and you cop a few knocks, you realise that you stand on the other side no matter what. The sun always comes up tomorrow,” he said.
By definition, mental health conditions are invisible. Unlike many physical conditions which have overt symptoms, mental health challenges can often go by unnoticed.
“Imagine you have two people side-by-side. One is experiencing a mental health condition and the other isn’t. The person experiencing challenges with their mental health, they will have a different perspective on the world despite standing in almost the exact spot as their neighbour,” Bernie said.
“Two people can look the same on the outside, but they each have different levels of resilience, different coping skills. Something that is simple for one person might be an incredibly hard challenge for another,” he said.
In Bernie’s view, the invisibility of mental health is both a barrier to greater understanding and the key reason why talk is so important.
“Personally, I’ve learned in a work context to reach out to the people I trust and ask for help when I need it. When people know what’s going on, they can support you,” Bernie said.
Bernie adds that reaching out for support when it’s needed has also taught him that he’s not alone in his experience.
“I can recall times when I was surprised by the response, because as it turns out, the people I was sharing with had similar experiences or moments to ones I was going through,” he said.
“You might feel like you’re alone, but you’re not—you’ll be surprised how many people will understand and support you”.
Bernie’s willingness to be open and vulnerable reminds us that speaking up only benefits all of us. He hopes these conversations will inspire more people to take care of their mental health, just as they do their physical health.
If this article has brought up any concerns for you, we encourage you to talk to a manager or colleague you trust. Don’t forget that Ulton’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP), Telus is here to offer confidential support for both personal and work-related matters. You can reach out to Telus by calling 1300 361 008 or accessing the online wellness resources and self-help tools by visiting ulton.lifeworks.com and using the username: Ulton and password: eap or use your personal account.
You’re not alone—help is always available if you need it.